I'm making(baking?) you boys something special but I need to know the best time to have it sent to MATES HQ. What day is best for sending treats, especially those that should be eaten when most fresh?
tuesday. Morning.
November 2011
73 posts
In one of the early episodes Tom went out of his way to distinguish you from the "Snack game glitterati." Now you've got your Paste Magazine Top 10 lists, your guest stars on the podcast, and ostensibly your embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions, although they haven't yet been viewed. Where did it all go so wrong for Mike & Tom Eat Snacks?
Oh, it went wrong in the early episodes. About the time we opened our mouths, it went wrong. It was largely inevitable, i think, but thank you for noticing.
This is a statement than an ask. Poor grammar aside, here is my snack suggestion. It was a cold cold winter's day in mid-Missouri and a conception/inception was done with the limited resources found. Thus "Droppings in the Snow" was made (1 Wheat Thin+some vanilla icing+Nestle semi-sweet morsels). One variation of the classic snack is "Droppings in the Mud", which merely requires a change from vanilla icing to chocolate icing, maintain Wheat Thins. If you want gourmet, go to the snow/mud
OK. But that seemed a bit like an ask, not just a statement.
SESAME STICKS!!!!?
STOP YELLING AT US!!!!?
Maybe you could make a spin off called Mike & Tom Eat Snakes?
But people wouldn’t know it was a spinoff because it would still be called MATES…
I know you mentioned Petit Écolier in one podcast, but you should do a whole show on them!
Exactly.
What are your favorite podcasts? Not pots that you're casting, though we know that would be entertaining.
I go with copper, because i am strong. Magic is weak, so he just tosses aluminum, and occasionally cutlery, which of course doesn’t count and only makes him look foolish.
We are not plugging superior podcasts on this site, because we are petty.
A spin-off podcast called MEATS in which Mike Eats And Tom Snacks. Obviously all food products will be meat based.
Obviously. Wait, the snacks, too?
Hi! Please do a tall glass of milk. Either skim or 2%. Your preference. For obvious reasons, I cannot send a gallon of milk in the mail.
What is the obvious reason?
The postal service can’t ship milk?
Is that it?
For your one year anniversary, a piece of wedding cake, straight from the freezer--it's a snack many have enjoyed and give insight on whether the snack worth being married for a year.
Send the cake.
Quick question: who the hell is making these Tato Skins? I hadn't heard of them, so I googled them. The only result I got was one type made by Keebler's filthy fucking elven goldbricks, but those apparently haven't been produced since the early to mid-nineties.
A Matey sent those in, i believe. We just blindly eat everything sent to us, because that’s smart.
eat these: nutella + american cheese. or grilled cheese sammich.
What? What? What the hell are you talking about?!
What?
what do you dudes enjoy to drink while you eat all them snacks?
Magic goes with tea. I go with tea and coffee. Magic also sometimes has coffee. I also have water, and Magic has water.
PLEASE do an episode on Tim Tams/Tim Tam Slams!
Yih, tim tams!
On the list.
Shrimp Chips. They're delicious and at any grocery store. Please do these soon. Also, I always thought Mike was the attractive one but now that I've seen your website banner I must say Tom looks a lot better. LOOK AT THOSE GUNS!
Mike is the attractive one.
In the Combos episode, whilst discussing the merits of a 47yr old Kevin Bacon reprising the role of Ren McCormack in Footloose, Tom Cavanagh is so fucking dismissive of Dianne Weist's performance I ripped out my earbuds in disgust. Now my ears hurt as well as my heart. Cavanagh, you son of a bitch. Dianne Weist is a national fucking treasure and you sir, are an asshole. Still love the podcast, Magic you're cute.
Ah, there we are again, tearing our souls apart over Dianne Weist. How does she do it. For the record, i love the woman, and your ability to classify someone who offers a perceived differing opinion a son of a bitch, a sir, and an asshole.
Magic is WAY cute.
tom
Ever try sweet milk chocolate chips with original potato chips? It's a great snack. Goes even better with heroin.
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Hey, you toberlones, I joined tumblr just so I could ask you to do a show on sour candy and if you could pair it off with beer you'd really make my life. Since I didn't pose that as a question, lemme axe you, If you could get one guest co-host for to replace your titular co-host (just for one show) who would it be?
Hey you toblerones=funny, even though you spelled it wrong.
Both of us would probably choose Hilary Clinton.
Hi Mike and Tom - long time viewer (via telephone), first time caller. Big fan of the podcast! Let me get right to it -- snack request: Twizzlers. I am partial to Pull 'n Peel but really, any member of the Twizzlers family is acceptable snackin' for me. Twizzlers is my go-to snack at the movies and let me tell you why: it's fun, it's a "fat free food," therefore it won't make you fat, and it's an American classic. It's made by Hershey's! Come on! Consider it? Anyway, keep up the good work! xxx
Don’t you think your time would be better off spent setting up defense arguments against the Donut Shoppe lawyers?
also: Nibs.
My best friend Jessica and I got matching cactus flower tattoos this weekend. The other weird thing we do together is listen to MATES. In the car, sitting on one of our couches, when we're drunk and falling asleep. It's our favorite thing to do together, mostly because it allows us to enjoy ourselves while not having to speak to each other. So, Mike, do you have any of those 30+ comps to spare for your 6th and I show in D.C. for us? It would make us so very happy, and you won't regret it.
Magic and i also got matching cactus flower tattoos this weekend, how weird is THAT, and we have one question for you:
Why do you have a couch in your car?
Has someone suggested All-Dressed Ruffles Chips yet? It's like an emblem of Canada's diversity in snack form or, more likely, a really indecisive flavor choice.
It’s the latter.
Every few episodes I convince myself that the whole "Tom Cavanagh" thing is meant ironically -- the voice and humor is CLEARLY Michael Showalter, which makes a lot more sense than Cavanagh doing this nonsense. Then I convince myself that there is no joke, it really is him. Nowadays I realize that they both must be involved to varying degrees (Showalter shows up when Cavanagh can't make it, right?). So my question is, what's the split? 70/30%?
You’re cut off. Seriously. Don’t even tune in any more.
Sincerely,
tom
If you were to classify snacks into 4 or 5 categories, what categories would they be?
The 4 or 5 best categories that would encompass snacks
Just listened to the pop chips episode. Why did you all decide to not rate the salt and pepper chips? You don't think your listeners would like to know exactly how good they are? Not trying to be a dick, but I feel like you jewed me out of a rating.
Wait, trying or NOT trying?…
More pictures! Sorry, not a question, no I am not sorry. I want more pictures.
I saw you down on Wall Street.
I would like to know whether or not beverages are consider by you both as a snack if yes I would be pleased to send you a delicious beverage.
Go ahead, send the beverage. Spit take?
You should try Pocky!!!!! Best Snack ever!!! and the different flavors are delish!! It's an asian snack but I am pretty sure you don't have to go to a specific store to find it!! =)
We have it on hold. And it is not the best snack ever. But it may very well get it’s due.
For one episode, you should eat Cheez-Its with cream cheese slathered on them. This used to be a serving suggestion on boxes of Cheez-Its. It's delicious.
You are exactly right.
So is Julie Bowen too good to talk to you guys now that she's got an Emmy?
She was too good to talk to us BEFORE she got the Emmy.
i wanna see a picture of european ian. please.
OK. But just so you know he always wears a Batman mask.
Mike, Tom, please do rice cakes sometime soon! The miniature ranch-flavored ones are my favorite, just saying. I've met Michael Showalter, David Wain, and Ken Marino. You would absolutely complete my life if you would call me and say hello. 6618896550. Especially if you choose my snack, because they're delicious and my father hates them and I'd like your rating as proof one way or the other.
I’ve never heard of any of those people. Also, we called your number, and it wouldn’t connect. Do you have to put a “1” on the front or something weird like that?
Does "Janellied" refer to only a combination of liquid and solid? I "Janelled" a chuck of cheese and some crackers the other day because I was too lazy to get a knife. Then today I "Janellied" a Slim Jim and Doritos. Is this "Janelling" or am I just stuffing food in my mouth in a pig like manner? Tell me please kind sirs, can you "Jamellie" two solids or is it called something else? What about "Jamelling" two liquids. Aloha and Maha
Aloha. also, you’re Just stuffing food in mouth in pig like manner.
Janelli=food plus liquid (not water). thank you and good luck
Have you considered candy corn as a Halloween snack?
Yes.
why do you consider a cheeto to be in the chip category? clearly puffed snacks deserve their own category!
No they don’t.
HEY MICHAEL IAN BLACK (THE JERK) YOU SURE WERE A JERK TO THE MADISON, WI CROWD ABOUT CHEESE CURDS, YOU JERK. PUT YOUR STUPID MONEY WHERE YOUR STUPID MOUTH IS AND DO A CHEESECURDS EPISODE. JERK. TOM, HOWEVER, IS A GENT AND A HALF.
Hey, thanks!
tom
Have been on the hunt for salt & pepper PopChips. They're nowhere to be found. I think I blame you guys.
Blame Little Joey Hodges.
Or move to New York.
hey did you guys hear the inventor of doritos, arch west, died. 97 years old. shouldnt you do a tribute mates podcast? also, i recently heard your podcast about keebler's fudge stripe cookies. agreed, they used to be better. i live in paris (but i'm american, not canadian like tom) and, even though i'd go as far as to say that french "snack" food sucks, they do have a pretty good rendition of the fudge stripe (minus the stripe). i'd be happy to send you some for an international mates podcast!
They don’t snack, really. They just eat 3 hour meals, plus wine. Not bad.
Last week we lost snack great Arch West, creator of Doritos. Sure, he ain't no Chuck Doolin, but I was hoping you may say some kind words in honor of him next week. Also, he is evidently going to be buried with a bag of Doritos. What snack would you like to be buried (or cremated) with?
We are assuming you were in on our moment of silence.
RIP, Archie.
When is MIB's tour (I assume) going to stop RUINING the regular release date of mates? I spent the last two Mondays crying and vomiting. By the way, Mike, see you in Boston.
He’s fucking it up for all of us. But boy, is he ever getting rich.
Tom if you could be any snack and Mike would have to eat you what snack would you be? Mike if you have time (Mr. Radio interview big shot) same question, maybe while you are on The View you can answer the question. You know two birds one stone.
Magic’s on the view? Man, the ladies are slumming.
Hi, Mike and Tom. I am so glad we can talk. I want to know which one of you fucks is taking a personal day because my whole week is ruined
Mike is.
Mike and Tom! Have you guys thought about how cool it would be to do a Halloween episode? Because I have, and I think it would be pretty cool. You could spook up the sounds effects and do a treat like candy corn or something! Just throwing it out there.
Anyway, thanks for doing this show, it's so much fun to listen to! You guys are brilliant - the ability to make people laugh like you do is really a gift. Thanks for sharing with us!!!
Bridgitalldigital. Sweet.
Where are you guys! My last two Mondays have been ruined?
Magic got bent outta shape cuz Beantown didn’t have his snacks. i was in the recovery room post-guac.
Happens.
WTF?
Well put
On one of the other podcasts I listen to, The Bugle, there is a standard procedure for when a new podcast is late or experiencing technical difficulties. We, the listeners, politely tweet the producer, Chris, and ask "Fuck you,Chris. Where's my Bugle?" Perhaps we could start something similiar here. Not necessarily "Fuck you, Olaf. Where's MATES?" But some kind of equivalent. Any suggestions?
No, fuck you Olaf is fine.
Where are you guys?!
Magic and i have been sitting right fucking here waiting for you for two weeks, Godot
My middle name is Michael. I like snacks. I also happen to be an orphan. Mike, does this mean you're my brother? If so, why was I left alone all these years?
Magic doesn’t like the humans.
When is Tom going to put on his toque, plug in his car, drink a mickey of scotch while operating a snow blower, and review some Canadian snacks? There weren't even ketchup chips on the Lays episode, and I just hope that is because you were holding off for the Old Dutch episode since they make the best Ketchup chips.
I’m doin’ alla that right now, while i eat the ol’ ketchup chips. Listen, when you’re right, you’re right.
True story: had two helpings of poutine last night.
tom
With so many holidays coming up, what are your thoughts on Mateys sending in home made cookies?
Seriously, you have to ask us that question? C’mon.
C’mon.
Guys, I'm an attorney and I'm willing to advise at a steeply discounted rate (I bill in snacks per hour) on this whole Roberto Clemente Donut Shop idea. Should I just be speaking directly to the Mates Legal Team on this? Also, is the Mates Legal Team hiring?
We are hiring you, of course.
We are gonna make a mint on the dang Donut Shoppe(Note the spelling—get that into the briefs). Remember, we do the midwest first. Then sit back and earn 20% on the beach
